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[That one person] who has the uncanny ability to partake in douchery but does not exibit all the qualities of a typical douche, leading some people into [the illusion] that this person is not in fact a douche. In many cases a closet douche is only a douche to guys so oblivious girls think hes a cool guy, adding to [the hatred] of him. Also, creatine is used by certain closet douches to artificially bulk them up, but everyone knows it just shrinks their ballsack.
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