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Guatemalan Vagina Ants (GVA)

Guatemalan Vagina Ants, or GVA as it is known in the medical community, is a rare [sexually transmitted disease] found in the Pacific Coast region of Guatemala. GVA causes rashes in the genital area that result in violent itching attacks. Tourists visiting Guatemala from developed nations are [particularly] susceptible to infection. Symptoms can usually be soothed by scratching the inside of the vagina with a hair brush and/or a lukewarm curling iron. GVA also increases the likelihood of pregnancy in women due to GVA's "ants eating food scraps" effect on latex condoms. GVA has recently been reported in the [United States] and many medical experts agree that a full-on Guatemalan Vagina Ants epidemic in imminent in North America due to unsafe sex practices of southern college students. Medical experts are also worried that GVA has the potential to mutate into a different, more severe strain called GAA, or Guatemalan Anal Ants. The results of further research regarding this dangerous condition are still being awaited...

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