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40 miles northwest of [Philadelphia] Pa lies the quaint suburb of Pottstown. Nestled within the eye of Montgomery County's [bermuda triangle]; Occidental Chemical, radiation-enriched landfill and Limerick Nuclear Power Plant. Even the town newspaper is named after the primary element found in the local fish-The Mercury. The village is rich with history, including the Pottsgrove Manor and old pony truss bridge. This is pleasantly juxtaposed by the State Street Tavern and Sheridan's nuts and news. Watch locals porch-monkey their [unemployed] kiesters on their dilapidated twins while pregnant 15 year-old girls proudly wheel their first born about town. Enjoy fishin the Manatawny crick for brookies, as locals call it. Just cast your rusty hook into the muddy depths and see what chomps down on the corn-kernal bait. The locals have a unique look that comes from a combination of in-breeding from Pennhurst State Hospital discharges and [crack cocaine] abuse. For night life, you can enjoy a movie at the Carmike theater, complete with sticky floors, urine smell and pestulence. The town mall is complete with shops that are closing down because the residents would rather spend their money on beer and lottery tickets. English is the primary language, however, you would blend in better ordering scrapple at the VIP Diner on High Street. Extra points for replying that everyone is ignant ([ignorant]).

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