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Archduke Franz Ferdinand was in Sarajevo and Gavrilo Princop popped a cap in his ass

Austria-Hungary got pissed off and asked Germany for help who gave them a "do [whatever the fuck] you want" or a blank check. Austria-Hungary finally asked Serbia to stop all anti Austria-Hungary activities and let them investigate the murder themselves. Serbia said fuck no and then Austria-Hungary declared war

because Russia was an allie of Serbia it began mobilization (preparing for war) and Germany didn't like this so they said "back the fuck up" to which Russia said no so Germany declared war on Russia and for no apparent reason whatsoever (just to be assholes I suppose) declared war on France. the declaration of war by Germany on France pissed off the English so England declared war on Germany

so basically they're all fighting when one day Germany shot a torpedo and sunk the Lusitania. the [United States] put their foot down and decided enough is enough and they were going to enter the war.

the Germans shit their pants and I can't remember [what happened next] but that's how it started

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