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"The analysis and inquiries of Yoshi's Penile Unit"

The asian penis is a very tiny molecule consisting of a centimeter long head followed by a half inch long shaft. The shaft, being yellow and Asiany, is usually covered in multiple STD-related legions. This can be attributed to the fact that [Chinese people] fuck all day long. Because this fucking is a constant occurrence sex has lost its pleasurable value. Therefore, Asians have devised tiny efficient penii to help them in their quest to over populate the world. Let’s take for example, the penis of a student here at this [boarding school], which by the way is covered with tiny Asian penises, by the name of Yang Yang F@#g. We are using the name Yang Yang F@#g because we wish to keep the true identity of this man [confidential]. Yang Yang F@#g real name is Yoshi. Yoshi is a 34 year [old] porn star with a record-breaking 4 inch long penis. Yoshi, with his mammoth penis consistently stars in such films as “The Real Godzilla,” “God’s Penis Attacks Tokyo,” and the popular film, “Will Fuck for Rice.”

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