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This is the large cooking spoon your mom used to [beat your ass] with when you were bad. Often made of plastic and large enough to whale on 2 asses at one time, the doom spoon was able to withstand years of abuse. The doom spoon typically came with holes in it to prevent wind [resistance] and increase velocity, pre-impact. The doom spoon also often was used as a [projectile] when the target could not be reached, e.g. when the target climbs a tree to avoid the beating, the doom spoon may be thrown at the ass to inflict low-level pain. The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."
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