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1) - An act of utter self-serving meanness by someone purporting to be doing you a 'favour';

2) - Pertaining to:-
A lie of such staggering scope and proportion that the protagonist often begins to believe it themselves (see 'Munchausen Syndrome by proxy');
A continually-morphing tale involving bizarre range of actors, singers, musicians and scientists and the day he gave them career-assisting help/ advice from which the rest is history;
A state of delusion.

3) - An evening/ lifetime involving the heavy consumption of [stella artois], weak spliffs and bags of ribs, punctuated by bouts of furious animalistic [masterbation] to Asian porn,
limp-dicked attempts to seduce anything with a pulse and no nose, and collapsing into an item of household furniture, followed by a morning of shoe-staring drunken regret;

4) - The mistaken belief that one is of a different ethnicity to one's own, following the slightest contact with a Reggae CD, and talking for the rest of the evening in a poorly-conceived [Jamaican patois];

5) - Pertaining to the taking of an unwarranted 'commission' on goods or services (see Jackson Tax;

6) - A System of Education composing of 14 hours per day 365 days per year watching repeats of 'Top Gear' and The [Discovery Channel], after which one attains such high states of knowledge and wisdom as to make Confucius piss the bed.

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