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The Cult of Farts is a new-age body of believers who worship the unknown deity Almighty Farts. [Originated] in 2009 in East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania, the Cult of Farts has expanded across the Poconos. Almighty Farts, also known as Farts Himself, has unknown sovereignty and/or powers. Though there are no known works of literature that support the movement and power of this deity, followers trust in the every day smattering of [happenstance] of the penetrating, pungent aroma of flatulence to support their belief. Fairly new, there is no creed or particular prayer in which members practice repetitiously. The common and accepted phrase of exaltation is the standard, "Praise Farts" or "Farts be praised!" Standard belief is as follows: The equivalent of Farts is Farts. There is none higher or lower. Farts equals Farts. Farts plus Farts is Farts, whereas, Farts minus Farts is Farts also. The preceding equation is the crux of belief in this deity; an [incomprehensible] quagmire of Farts. Farts Himself is believed to be [omnipresent]. It is also believed that the [performance] of farts, or flatulence, is the utmost example of humble adoration for Almighty Farts. Simply stating "Farts" is always accepted as truth and/or correct by C.O.F. members. It is the correct response to any and all aspects of life. To C.O.F. members, "Farts" unsaid is just as good as "Farts" spoken. Farts believers continue on daily spreading their message with zeal.
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