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Scruff Crums appear in the scruff of a bearded man (or manly woman). They appear in cases of men eating crumbly food, in which case the crums fall into [the beard]. [The beard] being a warm and delicate area on the male body, the food stays moist and [preserved]. And can be edible for months after it had fallen into the scruff. In the case of beverages, beer and milk can also appear in the scruff and will marinate and season the crums. In which case a feast is upon us.
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