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Baseball player for the [Pittsburgh Pirates], faster than a gazelle, sick dreads. Wears his hat in a [ridiculous] manner. Could be [the messiah] of the Buccos. He is known for his calm demeanor. His helmet falls off when he runs for extra bases, and/or when running from first or second base to home. His hometown is listed as somewhere in Florida, but he is most definitely from a planet called Krypton. He has sometimes been referred to as 'McClutchen', for his various walkoff hits/home runs. Also referred to as "Cutch." Do whatever you can to spread a nickname for him, "The Flying Cutchman."
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