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Being 'sure as a pickle' means not being very sure at all. Using this phrase often gives a sense of false hope, as it sounds like an [optimistic] phrase while actually being quite pessimistic. Pickles are very unsure organisms, as shown by their common trait of [rolling around] on tables. This behavior is caused by the existence of their many bumps, which bother them to no extent. They feel bad for each and every [one of these] bumps, which they must lie on and crush, no matter which way they roll. Thus, they must keep moving. Nothing is ever less sure than a pickle.
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