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The almighty 'N' in the [Alphabet of Manliness].

When children go to sleep, they check under their beds for the boogeyman. The boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off of a bat. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off of a Batman.

Chuck Norris wins the game. (PS you just lost)

Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen SanDiego is. Also, he knows where Waldo is.

Chuck Norris [let the dogs out].

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

A long time ago, after eating too much corn, Chuck Norris took the two most massive craps ever recorded in the US. They are now called Nebraska and Iowa.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

In the bush, it is said that four things can kill you: an elephant, a leopard, a Black Mamba, and Chuck Norris. However, only with Chuck Norris is [instant death] guaranteed.

The Baby Boom was the result of Chuck Norris banging [every] [American woman] after kicking some Axis ass.

Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in one move.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a hill outside of Rapid City. It is now known as Mount Rushmore.

Originally, Chuck Norris was the answer to life, the universe and everything in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but due to copyright issues, the name could not be used. To keep his influence in the answer, Chuck Norris recommended the number 42, the minimum number of people that die from one of his roundhouse kicks.

The most effective form of suicide is typing 'Chuck Norris' into Google and clicking 'I Feel Lucky'

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