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When you feel as if you are about to break wind and just as you begin to attempt to pass it, you feel a sudden moist feeling on the edge of your [butt cheeks]. At this point you come to realize this may not be what you first thought it was and not wanting to turn the back of your legs into a [chocolate waterfall], You snap at attention. [Immediately] clenching your buttcheeks tightly together to avoid any spillage and keeping a firm rigid stance, like a Buckingham Guard. With a cold sweat beginning to form and the feeling of a sharp stabbing sensation in your lower abdomen, you must continue to stay in this position until the pain subsides and you can get to a toilet.
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