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A Martard is a [delusional] blonde who thinks that lightning [will] strike twice in the form of 2 Stanley Cup visits to the state of California. Martards are easily distinguished by their shameless love of Arricks and their pleasing demeanor. When you encounter a Martard, leave them in their natural environment as picking them up may cause other Martards to no longer recognize them and even go so far as to disown them. Martards are a [fragile] bunch and although they are stunningly [cute], they do not make good pets. Injured Martards should immediately be given 6 bottles of beer and released in the nearest Octopus-free body of water. Although the word was originally believed to have been made to taunt a pretty girl who had an unnatural obsession with Patrick "No Show" Marleau, recent rumors place the origin of this word closer to an individual's obsession with [Mustard].
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