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Taoism: Shit happens. Hinduism: This shit happened before. Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens". Buddhism: If shit happens it isn't really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Islam: If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah. Jehovah's witness: Knock, knock. "Shit happens." Atheism: There is no shit. Agnosticism: I don't know whether shit happens. Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder. Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserved it. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
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