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a Southeast Asian mammal that resides on the [Eastern Seaboard] of the North American continent. Unlike the other inhabitants of this region, this mammal is an herbivore. Lack of sufficient protein reserves is the reason for its frail and emaciated structure. Feeds mainly on tofu, and deepfried potatoes which it plunders from [neighboring] animals. Reason for nomenclature is unknown, however some [believe that] the name 'turtle' is derived from the mammals seemingly turtle-like structure.
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