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n. The name given to anyone by the name of Patrick after he has become [intoxicated] if, and only if, his [intoxication] causes him to become overly eccentric, overly confident, sanguine, vociferous, irritable, and, most [importantly], sassy. In other words, when the Patrick in question is drunk he becomes a completely different person and, therefore, deserves a name that better suits him for the occasion.
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