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1. The media's half-baked idea to cause the world to enter a state of complete pandemonium as a result of a lack of [natural disasters] (e.g. Red River flooding) to increase viewership or readership.

2. The government's plot to seek an alternative route to curing our economical situation by creating [unnecessary drama] in the field of pandemics that will supposedly spark a large creation of jobs in the cleaning product industry, and a trillion dollar profit margin, thanks in part to our gullibility as humans.

3. The hysterical hockey/soccer moms' excuse for contributing to the closing down of schools across the country, while students come into contact with one another more often outside of school than in school. Don't tell me kids are more susceptible to dying or being harmed from the swine flu as opposed to choking on a hot dog, getting hit in the head with a baseball, or falling off of a trampoline.

4. A future [Michael Moore] documentary that will be renamed "Pandemic Pandemonium".

5. A pandemic that will surely result in the mass hatred, execution, and genocide of pigs throughout the world.

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