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A mysterious 'Flu' that was started by a huge number of juvenile pigs bunking off school in the world's largest farmyard boycott. This was [immediately] assumed to be a Flu Pandemic, as Humans started to bunk off school too. During a [French lesson] last week, the Pandemic reached Level 5 and record numbers of students did not attend their [French lessons]. The Flu soon because contagious amongst humans, transferred not by touch, but by questions like "Wanna go down the shop?" and "Do you want to come round and play Xbox round my house?"
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