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Achilles was a Greek warrior in the Trojan war. He liked to have gay anal sex with his cousin, Patroclus. This means that Achilles was not only one of the first gays, but also history's first redneck. One day, Hector, some Trojan dude, killed Patroclus. Achilles was pissed off and challenged Hector to a duel. In the duel, Hector slipped on one of Achilles' tubes of anal lube and got a concussion and died. Achilled then tied Hector dead body to the back of his chariot and rode it [around the city] of Troy and back to the Greek camp, where he had violent [homosexual] sex with it. As you could imagine, Achilles liked 'em messy. Anyway, a few years later, Troy had this [foreign exchange student] from Ethiopia named Memnon. Achilles killed Memnon because he was racist and was actually the first person ever to say the n-word. A while later, Achilles was shot by this guy Paris in a manner similar to how Lawrence King was murdered in California. The Day of Silence 1200 BC was dedicated in his honor.

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