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These Schanbacher's vary greatly from the rest of the Schanbacher's in the world. They tend to be crazy. They make nonsense jokes that are somehow hilarious. Some of them are dangerous. They tend to cause a lot of commotion everywhere they go. It is a known fact that 2 out of every 6 Champaign Schanbacher's chew with their mouths open and make odd noises while eating. Champaign Schanbacher's get along with each other very well and tend to watch each others back with the utmost attentiveness. Champaign Schanbacher's are either loved or hated for how different they are from others. Champaign Schanbacher's [communicate] with animals through [high pitched] voices that consist of made up words, jibberish, and objects that have been created in their [imagination] (i.e. SpidaMonsta, wigglebottomapotomus, poopclown, etc.). A Champaign Schanbacher, though not easily angered or [intimidated], should be avoided at all costs if they go in to attack mode. They have been known to [use] defense tactics such as one hitter quitters, gorilla kicks, beyame stick beatings, hog tie a human techniques, run for your life paintball shootings, [firecrackers] attached to doors, spitting lugies on skeezers, and Jesus Swords made out of wooden 2x4's. Though Champaign Schanbacher's can be dangerous when provoked, it takes a lot to get one to the point of violence. Most of the time a Champaign Schanbacher just likes to enjoy day to day life with a weird twist.

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