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A 108 year old virgin that's the second [main character] in [the Twilight saga]. He sparkles [in the sun], is a abusive to his "mate" (the bitch known as Bella Swan), and is overly lovey-dovey and boring. Many Twilight fangirls think he's hot, but he makes sane people want to vomit. He claims to be a vampire, but since vampires don't sparkle, he's most likely some species of gay fairy.
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