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The mysterious and undetected figure [responsible] for fouling public toilets (including those in the work place) in a most heinous manner. To Crimp in the modern vernacular being the verb to open one's bowels. In these cases the faeces usually manifests itself on the rear side of the [toilet seat]. Using complex trigonometry and huge amounts of conjecture, scientists have hypothesised that a human sub-species possessing an Anus in the lower back is [responsible].
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