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An old man who teaches Spanish at an [intermediate] level. Hair grows out his ears and nose and everywhere. Kerch is very old and prefers cheesy sayings such as "[Bite the bullet]", "Minus [participation]", "Kick you in the you-know-what". Kerches have white guinea pigs named Snowball and don't live in the same state that it teaches in. Includes a very low, monotone voice that drills into your head the various preterite forms of dormir.
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