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Cumbria is a extreme north, shire country, in the extreme north of extremeness. As many extremes as there may be in that sentence it doesn't change how there is near nothing extreme about Cumbria, but at least they have [more than] a Pete Doherty, from crappy Northumberland.  They have [William Wordsworth], Jesus, and Merlin.

Cumbria is what [the people] Daaan Saaaath like to call, part of Scotland. They are very wrong though, Cumbria is in fact part of England. The Cumbrians proved it. Taking many back breaking years, but it is proven, Cumbria is part of England, Northumberland on the other hand..

Cumbria, despite being one country, it is actually two countries combined into one. The First country is east Cumberland, with the shared capital placement of Carlisle, and Kendal, and don't be fooled by Kendal, all they do is make mint cake, /it's not cake/.

Then the second country is west Cumberland, that capital is normally Whitehaven. Everyone there is part of the "Sellafield Posse" To be honest they just have brain damage from all that nuclear radiation going about. Which leaves us to feel sorry for sad little Seascale.

Cumbrians have been known to speak a different language we like to call Cumbrian, or just .. Drunk babble. Whenever you visit this land of beauty and sheep, be sure to just nod and smile as they speak to you. Also, buy things from [the tourist] booths. So sit down, tell us how ya’ fettle is, and give us [the crack on] where you‘re frey.

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