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Greatest [College basketball] coach in the universe.
Ranked #1 by the interuniversal [college basketball] association.
26 years coaching Team Milky Way Galaxy winning every Universe Championship.

Spent 15 years raised by wolves, learning basketball amongst the Mongolian Monks. He has greater influence than many people, including that of the late great Jesus Christ. It is rumored that the basketball trick of walking on water was passed through this line of tutalege, for intermural games in the rain ONLY at Dermond field in Drexel Hill (the place of worship)

Father Figure to such basketball greats as: Kareem Abdul-Jabaar, Wilt Chamberlin, John Stockton, Tyrone Hill, Phil Martelli Jr., Phil Martelli III, the artist formerly known as Phil Martelli, and Phil Martelli V (IV and Phil did not have good relations). Also famous Hispanic Baller Phillipe El Nino Martellinio. From glorious Drexel Hill Pennsylvania, where his influence has been felt in basketball hot spots such as Saint Bernadette's Gym/Lunchroom and Dermond Field.

He is now Supreme ruler of Drexel Hill and his power lies outside of the jurisdiction of the [United States government].

He now coach Saint Joes Basketball.

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