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1. An ultra-exclusive pre-orientation program consisting of a 3-day hiking [extravaganza] through the [Pennsylvania] wild. It’s a fun-filled grimefest of epic proportions which takes in Penn’s finest incoming freshman and strips them of all sense of decorum until all that remains is a filthy, half-crazed pack of would-be students who have turned defecating into a competitive sport. (Two words: tandem pooping.) Bound together by their new state of [enlightenment], PennQuesters fear but one thing and one thing only: the Fecal Finger; 2. There can be only one PennQuest; 3. Birthplace of the Fecal Finger; 4. PennQuest is where gingers, blacks, whites and brown people proudly live together in harmony.
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