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10. If you find yourself alone in a house, hospital, city, or [underground] complex, you're going to die. 9. If you can't find your teammates, they're dead. 8. No violence, no fun. 7. If you have a gun, there is something that wants to get shot. 6. If that something isn't human, it only makes the situation more enjoyable. 5. There are no ugly girls, especially if you're playing as one. 4. It isn't dead if it's still in one piece. 3. [The thing] you want to find is always [on the other side] of the map. 2. It takes more skill and talent to play a plastic guitar than a wooden one. 1. Despite how good you are, there is always someone better.
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