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A [fictional character], and primary love interest of the first person narrator Isabella Swan in Stephenie Meyer's 'Twilight' series. He lives in Forks, Washington. He is a Meyerpire, a being that suffers from a psychosis leading him to believe he is a 'vampire'. A one hundred and eight year old virgin (until the latest installment 'Breaking Dawn'), he is trapped in the body of a seventeen year old boy, sparkles in the sunlight, has the ability to move super fast (despite the fact that he is described as 'marble-like') and has a wide variety of 'speshul' powers. He is adored by teenage girls and [Catholic priests] alike, and is so 'perfect' in every way that he actually shits flowers. He later becomes the father of Renesmee (Affectionately referred to as 'Nessie' and 'Renestard'), a half-Meyerpire, half-human hybrid who is also 'perfect' and is imprinted on by the self-styled Pedo-Wolf Jacob Black. He is often used as a reference for [unimpressive] or ‘pussy’ vampires, despite the fact that he is not in fact a vampire. See also: Stalker.
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