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A freakishly addicting book (stolen from a fan fic site) written by a strange middle aged woman who (has sexual fantacies about this) created this character named ~*~Edward~*~ who *sparkle, sparkle* in the sun light, instead of burting into flame like normal [vampires]. Then theres his (stupid and patheticly clumbsy) girlfriend, Bella (who's a whore) who falls in love with her BFF Jake then rejects him cause he's (A million times not possesive and dosn't hate himself)not like Edward. And he's a werewolf so Edward hates him. Then she gets knocked up (About 40 billion times (cause she's a [necrophiliac] whore)by Edward and they make a baby (that wants to kill her). After having Renesmee (a name that was created using a mormon thing where the names of both grandparents are combined) Bella dies and becomes a vampy. Then come to find out Jachob falls madly in love with Renesmee (which makes him a baby fucking pedophile) and Bella gets pissed. 
To makes a long, 4 book, story short, the ~*~Cullens~*~ *sparkle, sparkle* have this big war that naver happens against the (old wrinkly leader people) Vertolli (sp?)and they all end up loving (the evil little Mormon critter) and everyone lives [happily ever after] ([forever and ever] and ever).

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