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Any one of a hybrid species of indigestible poisons found in the eastern [United States]. It typically has the appearance of a half-eaten feces sample encased in regurgitated meatloaf. Although it may appear to be horrid, ugly, violent, and sluggishly stupid, looks in this case are not deceiving in the least. A lorch was last spotted in the [United States], where it [reportedly] tried to defecate upon a rose petal and subsequently fainted of rectal hemmhoraging.
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