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The Way of the Jones, He died on [the statue of liberty] when Americans were doing unconstitutional things in order to give all Americans eternal rights, so they can spend eternity in a land with Democracy instead of Soviet Russia. All Americans have committed acts of civil disobediance, and the only way to spend eternity in a land of Democracy is through the Jones. To be a follower of the Jones, you must pray this prayer and confess your civil disobediance: "Dear Jones, I know I have broken laws, violated rights, and not practiced my own personal rights. I only ask that you forgive me, and that You are the only way to spend eternity in a Democracy. Freedom!" If you prayed that prayer to the Jones, [congratulations]! Please, go out and buy [the Constitution], and remember to pray to the Jones whenever you violate what it says. We'd LOVE to hear how the way of the Jones has improved your patriotism.
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