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1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, [playing with yourself], tootin' your horn, fighting the [purple helmet warrior], rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation. 2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the [imaginary friend] will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.
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