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A large wooden double reeded instrument that is often mistaken for an oboe  by people that have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Or, someone is resembling it to a bong. i have heard on numerous occasions, "farting bed post" and "potato shooter"  the bassoon is by far the worlds most unique instrument and by far the coolest. eventhough it gets hated on much more than any other instrument.. ever. that is because everyone else is jealous. 
this instrument produces a deep rich sound that if played incorrectly can sound like something is dying. which is why the [majority of people] should not play it. for in the wrong hands it sounds awful. in [good hands] of a skilled musician it has a beautiful sound. as long as its a wooden bassoon, they make them in plastic for student musiciains, i don't reccomend it.
the bassoon has 13 thumb keys. its rather intense and you really have to have skillful fingers to play a bassoon.
especially since you have to get used to holding some holes half way.
the bassoon is a base clef instrument that really brings in a [quality] base sound to the orchastra.

if you're looking at someone who is a bassoonist beware they're quick and will most likely [kick your ass]. That is if you harass the instrument they've spent way too many hours trying to perfect. 
fantasia  The Sorceer's Apprentice (with [mickey mouse])
the main melody is all bassoon baby

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