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Peculiar sub-species of Homo Sapiens, known for its ugliness and garolousness. The typical Scottish 'person' will exhibit excessive amounts of freckles, hair ranging from dark ginger to fair ginger and display a penchant for wearing either a woolen skirt with no underwear to show off their non-existent bollocks or (lately) shiny designer sportswear bought on the cheap from the back of a van. The last point is pertinent as this species is renowned for its tightness- although one can assume that it is neccessary if [one is] to spend all their money on cheap booze.

Apart from this, they exhibit a preference for eating sheeps intestines with a side order of chips with salt and vinegar-oops, my bad- salt with chips and vinegar. This can be substituted with anything deep fried, such as mars bars and bannanas.

Their means of [communication] is by [manipulating] vocal chords with phlegm and some form of internal biological sandpaper to produce a harsh sound that can best be described as magpie meets jackhammer. Their musical tastes are similiarly harsh and extended exposure would cause most normal humans to have a brain hammeorage.

If one is spotted [on the street], it is advisable to keep one distance as the creature is a) inebriated+on heroin and b) suffering from a massive [inferiority complex] bought about by its crudeness and lack of social skills, which causes extreme xenophobia and the likelihood of ass-raping any species not of its own genre.

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