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1. Melbourne, Florida (also known as "no not the cool city in Australia", "Melboring", or "the city in which everything closes at nine o' clock and there is nothing left to do after ten except eat junk food and watch re-runs of Family Guy". A one-Starbucks town where teenagers [go to the park] and trip up [rollerbladers] and watch them windmill their arms in a desperate attempt to stay upright for their main form of [entertainment].
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