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A mildly contagious viral infection typically transmitted via direct contact with a bleeding wound or mucous membrane. Though most prevalent in [metropolitan] areas, infections characteristic of the virus have been documented in numerous remote, wooded locations. Side effects may develop in women of any age and include sexual activity with the same gender, reduced awareness of fashion, aggressive behavior, increased appetite and an inexplicable affinity for [construction] projects and Birkenstocks. While the virus does not respond to traditional antiretroviral therapies, some individuals [demonstrate] a natural resistance to the infection and have been known to miraculously recover, as in the case of Anne Heche.
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