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If [Operating Systems] Ran The Airlines...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and [everything] will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

[Windows XP] Air
You turn up at the airport, the staff help you to your seat. When in the airplane, you experience a little turbulence. You had to pay extra for a plane to fly next to you to protect you from viruses, but it's worth the danger to be in a plane with such a [comfortable] seat.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. Don't even think of coming on this plane unless you have a degree in physics, [engineering] and metalworking. You have to assemble your seat out of ill-fitting parts that take hours to find. Your chiropracter gave you a special cushion you have to use during flight, but the staff gently remind you that you need to spend hours looking for a compatibility layer to use it with. You nearly have your seat set up, bar one piece. So you ask the person next to you if he knows where any other pieces are, and he replies with "STFU No0B!! U R A LAMER!!!" You wish you flew with Windows XP.

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