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Born in China (200 B.C.E.) and pressumed to be killed in San Francisco, CA (1986), Lo-Pan is THE ultimate manifestation of ass-kickering and pwnage. Once a great warrior, Lo-Pan was cursed with the curse of "No Flesh" by the First Sovereign Emperor Qin Shi Huang. Although Lo-Pan can be temporarily granted a decrepit body by supplication to the gods, in [order] to permanently break the curse and regain his human form, he must marry a woman with green eyes. Simply marrying her will please Ching Dai, the God of the East. But to satisfy the Emperor, he must sacrifice her.

Not only a centuries-old ass kicker, Lo-Pan is an [entrepreneur] and gansta. Under the fake and fiendlishly clever alias of "David Lo-Pan", he is the head of the Wing Kong Import-Export Trading Company and the head of the street gang, the "Wing Kong".  Lo-Pan is also [responsible] for the [assassination] of the leader of the Chang Sings, a rival street gang who had absolutly no idea how brutally badass Lo-Pan was.

Among Lo-Pan's amazingly kickass skills are the use of the "Needle of Love" to marry any bitch he wants to, the ability to deflect crystal missiles, Lvl. 73 [Green Beam] Projection, and materialization of Chinese warriors with swords.

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