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Unknown [sexually transmitted disease] characterized by by highly contagious lesions. May be transmitted to co-workers through [physical contact]. Some rare strains have been known to be airborne. Early symptoms include subject incessantly adjusting crotch. Subjects suffering from mitch itch will vehemently deny disease [contraction]. Common treatment involves hydro-cortisone and icy hot. Most likey cause known: putting the pee-pee in the poo-poo and getting the ooh-wee.
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