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1.  someone who believes that architecture students should not concentrate on studio, but rather spaghetti diagrams and duct sizes. 2.  someone who writes a song entitled "caffeine", sung to the tune of eric clapton's "cocaine." 3.  someone who teaches environmental systems 2 at the university of houston college of architecture. 4.  someone whose internet porn is the in form of WebCT. 5.  "your eyes bulge.  your eyes bulge.  your eyes bulge... caffeine." 6.  someone who fantasizes about having intercourse in the daylight simulation lab. 7.  "drip it, steam it, pump it...cube it, cream it, lump it...caffeine." 8.  someone who is obsessed with color-coded graphs that track student progress and understanding in his blatantly confusing and poorly directed class. 9.  someone who disrupts the class more by bitching about it than the student who walks in 1.5 minutes late and is ergo held in his "late student holding pen" in the back (with zero visibility to the actual class "instruction") 10. someone who can go fuck their own point system and shove it up their ass.

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