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Person at a party designated to remain sober and handle any activities the extreme state of [intoxication] of the other party guests render them unable to perform. Activities such as working the TV and/or DVD player, ordering drunk food, collecting car keys, cleaning up food/discarded clothing/spilled beer/vomit, preventing (or breaking up) fights, and talking to the police/security/neighbors. A person whose job it is to facilitate a good time while at the same time preventing people from ending up in either jail or the hospital. A secondary function of the lifeguard is to provide a supplement to [facebook memory] by providing a coherent record of the events of the party to everyone else the following morning. Thus providing guests with a person to whom they can pose the question "[What the fuck] did I do last night?"
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