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Now found in most areas of Britain, (to the horror of us all) the Chav is a human sub-species that survives on council tax and thrives on making the lives of every functional member of society, that [little bit] more painful! 
Chavs seem to have developed there own language due to the fact they cannot [understand] nor learn the traditional proper English like rest of the country.

Both chav males and females usually have [more than 1] partner, indulging in random bursts of [sexual acts] at local bus stops, outside shops and in banged up but 'pimped out' old cars.

You can easily spot a Chav by their hilarious yet disturbing appearance.
Males consist of tracksuit bottoms and a baggy Fred Perry sweatshirt, accompanied with tacky white trainers and a cap balacned on top their heads.
Females also wear tracksuit bottoms, but sport much more unattractive, usaully dirty tops that are 3 sizes to small. The hair is always dirty/greasy and is either pulled in to a ponytail so tight that wrinkles are forms [on the forehead] or it is left dangling down limply.
Always watch out for either the cheap or very expensive (but always tacky and ugly) gold jewellery.

If you are confronted by a chav, (this will always be when other chavs are around, as they hope to attract a mate or gain admiration), just use any word with 3 syllables or above, and walk away when the look of confusion and anger spread across their face.

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