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The largest thing ever known to man. Dating back to times defined in the Old Testament in which King Chicken Fat of Dalmasianitarus is depicted as being a great leader who lost his life in an unfortunate Pong accident with Jesus. Chicken Fat can again be cited in the original copy of the [United States] Preamble, line one... "We the people of the [United States], and Chicken Fat." However, no one would say this due to the belief that it was racist, and it was soon forgotten. The truth behind Chicken Fat is that it is the largest Government Conspiracy ever known. If one was to ask the President about Chicken Fat, he would say "liek wtf d00d?" because it is so highly classified that not even the President knows about it. Chicken Fat can be used for anything, be it shaving, lube, food, shotgun ammo, caulking, or anything. It was at Saratoga, Normandy, The Marne, everywhere. It cured scurvy for [Christopher Columbus], it kept Washington's boat from sinking into the Delaware, it assassinated JFK and framed Oswald, it's done everything pretty much.

Just for writing all this in I am put on a Government hit list for [knowing] too much and now so are you, but the list goes down so head for Canada and start a new life, eh?

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