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St. Louis Breakdown:

"South City Hoosier" - These are hoosiers that have all the hoosier trademarks and live south of Highway 44. Almost all of the men work in the automotive field. The women [usually] are the ones buying Basic cigarettes and scratch-off tickets at a South Grand gas station on Wednesday mornings while thier 7 and 9 year old kids are listening to Eminem in the Astro van.

"South County Hoosier" - These hoosiers aren't always poor rednecks. In fact, most of them own homes and have decent jobs. Look for fishing boats in the driveways, [Christmas lights] in May and stockpiles of Busch Light beer. Many of the men are hunters and/or fishermen and all have buddies that can fix your car. The women usually have part-time jobs, and slightly newer vans. Many south county hoosiers grew up as south city hoosiers.

"[Jefferson County] Hoosier" - These hoosiers are a wily bunch. Most drive pickup trucks and have boots that are heavily stained and torn to shreds. They usually start sentences with "hey man..." and all of thier stories are about thier brother-in-law. They too hunt, but can't afford to have thier deer stuffed and mounted like most South County Hoosiers. Almost all of these hoosiers are extremely [conservative], and very few work in St. Louis. The women generally wear clothes from 1993 and rock 80's style femullets and bangs. Most smoke [menthol cigarettes] but will buy the non-menthol brands for thier 14 year old sons named Levi.

"St. Charles Hoosiers" - St.Chares hoosiers are rare sightings. They look normal, and drive nice trucks but almost always live in a home that contains wheels. They have money for stuff like Imo's pizza and Bud Light beer, but only on Saturday's or during Rams's games. They often don't even know that they are in fact hoosiers because they live in St. Charles, howvever [the burger king] bags on they're floorboards and Z107.7 stickers on their cars are a dead giveaway.

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