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a scale used to define where you are dating wise
5 sticky eyes (Be careful using this. I’ve still got some complete twit following me around like a seeing-eye dog.) 
1 holding hands 
2 arm around 
3 goodnight kiss 
4 kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath (What you need for this is a sad mate who’s got a watch but no boyfriend.) 
4.5 hand snogging (I really don’t want to go into this. Ask Jas.) 
5 open mouth kissing 
6 tongues 
6.5 ear snogging 
6.75 neck nuzzling 
7 upper body fondling – outdoors 
8 upper body fondling – indoors (in bed) 
Virtual number 8 (When your upper body is not actually being fondled in reality, but [you know that] it is in your snoggees head.)  
9 below waist activity (or bwa) (Apparently this can include flashing your pants. Don’t blame me. Ask Jules.) 
10 [the full monty] (Jas and I were in the room when Dad was [watching the news] and the newscaster said, “Tonight the Prime Minister has reached Number 10.” And Jas and I had a laughing spaz to end all laughing spazzes.)

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