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A man who, [according to] a somewhat-popular book known as the Bible, was the [son of God]. Jews and atheists do not acknowledge his existence, but then, neither reads a Bible. Anyway, it is said that Jesus died for us, the worthless humans we are, and rose three days later to prove his holiness. Some nonbelievers claim he hung out in his little cave eating [beef jerkey] he hid up his ass. But you don't need to believe either.
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