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The Army only teaches you two things: "If in doubt, put down [smoke and go] left", and "Never [volunteer] for anything". The Navy only teaches you two things: "Don't throw the slops out to windward", and "Never volunteer for anything". The Air Force only teaches you two things: "Cheese tastes [pretty much] the same coming up as going down, so it's OK to eat before a bumpy flight", and "Never volunteer for anything". The Marines only teach you one thing: "Never volunteer for anything".
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