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A Sprystache is small and pathetic mustache belonging to a citizen of Spryfield, Nova Scotia. It is similar to the crustache in that it is usually thin, made partially of ingrown hairs, and related directly to the hereditary traits of [white trash]. The main difference is that any race may possess one, as it is a biological affliction that arises from exposure to [electromagnetic] fields existing uniquely in Spryfield. For most Haligonians outside of Spryfield, a Sprystache is considered a [mark of shame], but in Spryfield it may be thought of as an honor, as it signifies the citizen as coming into manhood
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