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A type of crying that can feel really good and really bad at the same time. [The ugly cry] can occur after a severe tragedy in one's life, or simply for no reason at all. You know you're doing the ugly cry when you lose COMPLETE CONTROL of all of the muscles in your face, start heaving and making awkward sounds (even though you are trying really hard to be silent), and start leaking fluids from every opening on your face from your hairline to your chin (yes, this includes the mouth). [Without a doubt], by the time you are through with your ugly cry episode (if it was genuine) it will look as though you are a [homeless person] with pink eye who got punched a few times in the face and was hit my a monsoon; this is completely normal (and generally the time to call up a good friend).
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